Remember.
After every significant event that God led them through, the
Israelites built little stone towers, rock monuments, altars, markers. Why go
to all that trouble? To remember. I
used to think it’s just a cute little tradition for them, like, oh, okay, they’re
gonna build something there so their children can see it and remember that spot
where God led them through the Jordan river. But in an era where we say ‘unless
we have a photo on Instagram, this event never happened’, it seems to be true
that humans really need tangible things to help us remember things.
But why is it important to remember? Many people have
tried keeping a journal or diary at some point of their lives or another, some
keep blogs, some people reduce it to twitter, snapchat, photos on Instagram…
Whatever it is, why do we find it important to document our lives? I don’t
think many of us are going to be famous celebrities or world-revolutionary
great people who people will want to dig up our life stories to write a biography.
For some of us, it’s simply sharing our lives so our friends and family know
that we’re alive and well, for some, we just keep memories of the happy things
so we can remember them and be happy again. But for this act of documentation
to be, well, documented in the Bible, it has to be significant enough on a
deeper level. Why does God want us to remember things?
Remembering
helps us to give thanks. Many a times, we don’t realise how blessed we are
until we look back and discover how things worked out better than we imagined.
When we are in the midst of the adversity, all we think of is the problem, but
after time has passed and the problem is solved, we get the chance to
appreciate all the people who helped us along the way, marvel at all the little
turn of events that brought us out of the storm, heave a sigh of relief and
truly be thankful that it is all over. Remembering the past helps us to
attribute due glory to the One who guided us every step of the way, to remember
our own helplessness, and remember who God is. God is God regardless of whether
anything happened or not, but as humans, we need more tangible things to help
us know who God is. So, recalling things that have happened better helps us
remember Him as a God of mercy, grace, and faithfulness.
Remembering
the past gives us wisdom for the future. This is what they all
say in history class: knowing history helps us learn from past mistakes. But in
the Bible and the rest of history, we know that in fact, people do often commit
the same mistakes and live in cycles of wrong-doing and suffering. This is
because there is already sin in this world, and people are inclined to do wrong,
whether they know it or not. But as one person, remembering the past can have
great value in personal growth. It helps us to remember the stupid things we’ve
done before, remember what works and what doesn’t, and help us to make better
choices in future. It can help us to live an increasingly edifying life, so
that we don’t live in our own cycle of sin and condemnation.
So, after my 500-word essay on “What It Means To Remember”
(lol!), it would be apt for me to do some throwback to my life in 2016, so that
I can look back in future and not think that I’ve done utterly nothing this
year!
2016 is a year where I’ve:
Completed
year 2 sem 1 of uni. Besides being a place to learn and study, uni is
a place where I feel I need to practice being more Christ-like in. Much as I want
to be a social recluse and mind my own business, it is unavoidable that I need
to meet and interact with people in tutorial discussions, and lunchtime
conversations, and group projects. So I thank God that He gave me a chance to
have a weird friend who has a super different worldview from me to talk to and
try to be more confident of sharing my views and beliefs. Also, I had a strange
project group where people were hardworking but used very very inefficient methods
to get things done (how does that work!) but it really trained my patience and
trained me to think of how to react in a God-honouring manner (i.e. not just
boycotting their efforts and tanking everything myself, but still trying to
maintain harmony and cooperation).
Studies-wise, I consciously tried to be more hardworking
this previous sem, by not being so last-minute, typing out my notes after every
few lectures instead of waiting till right before the quizzes. But I realized,
the harder I worked, the more I became conscious about how my efforts would
translate into my results. Previously, I struggled with the notion of what it
meant to ‘do your best’. I felt that, even though I was seemingly putting more
effort, I was becoming more stressed, and when I was more stressed, I felt that
I couldn’t really do my ‘best’. So I decided that for me, doing my best means simply
to do everything conscientiously, without regrets, not focusing on the outcome,
but just drawing on strength from God and trusting in Him for the rest. This
will be a balance I will continue to work on and discover, so hopefully, next
year will be better!
Discovered
new grounds. I’ve discovered new grounds by exploring the country a
bit during the summer break. Thankful for adventurous buddies to be with to go
to islands and animal cafes and museums and stuff together! Also ventured
overseas without parents/school for the first time in my life, tried quite a
few theme park rides that I never would have wanted to try, discovered new
things about my friends, and about the world. Tried to be more active with my photography
too as I go around places, so I’m pretty glad at least that my camera isn’t
growing mould!
Explored
new relationships. 2016 is really quite an interesting year for me in
terms of relationships, and I don’t mean only romantic relationships, but
relationships in general. For a uni kid who has no more ‘form class’ unlike in
primary or secondary or JC, my core friends base is mostly my JC classmates
(Morose!) and church friends, plus a handful of random one-to-one friendships.
So it’s quite weird that from these long-time network of friends, there can
emerge new dynamics, people who became closer, and people who drifted off. For
one, uni friends seriously make me question what the definition of a ‘friend’
is. When does a colleague become an acquaintance, and an acquaintance become a
friend? And then those long-time-no-see friends who we text like maybe three
times a year – we do think fondly of one another, but we don’t find it a need
to meet up or catch-up so often – what is the value of those friendships? And
then the ever-elusive question plaguing mankind: is it possible for a guy and a
girl to remain just good friends forever? Through this year of talking to many
more guys than I probably ever talked to in the previous 18 years of my life,
it made me realise how weird the world is. How media has influenced the idea of
relationship maneuvering in different people, how some of them seriously romanticize
the whole thing, some of them think dating (where all relationships can
potentially become a date!) is a game, and how so few of them can simply just
honestly and openly seek to build a trusting relationship (friends or otherwise).
Even amongst girl friends, I see how they can get jaded, like, oh, ‘all men are
the same!’ as they bring up stories of friends of friends getting dumped and
all, but turn the other way and go ‘last long!’ in any insta post with a guy
and girl looking remotely close (they don’t care that some of those people are actually
just siblings??). It’s sad and scary to see how the world’s ideologies have
become so much a part of us, that we fail to go back and really think about
what we seek in these relationships, what is a God-pleasing relationship, and how
are we supposed to behave in healthy and genuine relationships.
Found the
love of my life. This year, I’ve received one of the biggest
blessings I could ever have, one that I never deserved, and never could have
expected. It gives me so much warmth, so much hope, and so much excitement. It
comforts me to know that from this way on out, I am not walking alone but I
have someone beside me to be my pillar and safety net. It’s humbling to be able
to have someone act as my mirror, to see myself better, express myself better,
and grow into someone better. It’s amazing to see how much someone can love
you, and just so only begin to imagine how immensely more God loves us. It’s a
privilege to have someone I can channel love to, and learn to be more selfless,
caring, and truly know that it is better to give than to receive. It’s exciting
to look forward to all the adventures we will go on together, the times we will
strive on together, and help each other to grow and bless others. I really
thank God for you everyday.
As I wrote this post, the New Year has arrived, and it
seems also apt that we need something to go forward on, instead of just looking
back. I don’t usually do resolutions unless I’m forced to come up with one (in
those random group conversations or goal-setting things). For me, a year is
quite an arbitrary time-marker, and we don’t need to set a goal for a year – a goal
can be set for any time, and can be set and re-set again as and when we achieve
them, or decide we need to work on something else. There are also big goals and
mini goals and tangible goals and intangible ones, so to me it’s scary when I
tell someone that I set out to do ‘this’, and then it turns out that I don’t
achieve it or make any ostensible progress in it, it is difficult to tell them
about your progress and they see it as a lack of progress. It’s discouraging.
But some goals are a matter of what is in your head – you might be slowly
trying to change your perception or attitude, but the results aren’t
immediately obvious, or takes a lot of time to overcome. I think that’s okay. Some
changes take longer than others, and we shouldn’t be discouraged by people who
don’t see the whole picture, but instead remind ourselves why we set out to
make that change in the first place.
So instead of having a checklist-style of resolutions or
goals, my resolutions nowadays come in the form of a list of things that I hope
to work on, or focus on. They are directions more than destinations, and
whether I take 100 steps or 10 steps in the right direction, I will still count
it as progress and be encouraged to continue to strive on.
My 2017 “resolutions”:
Continually strive to grow in my relationship with God.
Be more courageous in proclaiming God’s faithfulness,
love, truth, righteousness to others.
Learn how to love more.
Explore and hone my musical knowledge and skills.