i didnt know buying a new set of colour pencils could give me such a sense of achievement.whoa. past few days (weekend) i played a lot.with the meowzas. haha.and the meowies.then today im alone at home. yvonne has gone to school. i hv few hw due tmr. then no mood to do.haiz. boreddommmm!!!!!!!actually i hv to study lahbut so sianz.
how i wish its friday again...
(typing this in notepad now, while waiting for internet to load. its not responding. haiz.)i got a lot of random things to say today.firstly, the malaccan students from MOZAC came to our school today! i dunno why but i was appointed as stationmaster, but in the end i didnt do much for the games. the most i di was, well, PLAY. the malaccan students were really friendly. i wanted to be enthu and socialise, but then when it come to such things i can never think of words to say. like mathea, she talks about soccer. tasia, talks about shinee. me? nothing. haiz. the only thing i can do is answer their questions and help them understand the game when they cant hear the instructions from Lesley.(internet loaded~!)so basically we played icebreaker games and had a buffet lunch/recess (yum. mrs **** is so greedy. not mentioning names. u never know when people can track you down. LOL. rubbishing.) then at 1.30 we headed to the boarding school to exchange gifts. i gave my present to a boy. cos i thought since my present was suitable for both genders, giving a boy would be fairer cos most people would want to give girls. after that, they left... hope to see them in may at their school!next thing. i have this random feeling to go facebook and stalk/add the random people in my life. okay, maybe not random. just that maybe we never really thought of adding each other on facebook? like, my CCA mates, the malacca people, teachers...NEXT. its a bad news. or good? at least i passed. but barely. haiz. piano exam... I TOLD YOU MY PLAYING IS HORRIBLE.nxet. hiaz. spleling scuks. cos too dpresesd arelady.no mroe nxet arelady lah.must remember to pray!im turning religious.its supposed to be a good thing right?remember to pray...(oh no copied from notepad to here, no 'enters'! what a messy bunch of words.)
to do list:art homeworkprint history bt formatsleepooh the malacca people are coming to our school on thursday!i have to admit im excited.we are one 'lucky' class. (to get chosen for the research test :( and to get chosen to host the malaccan students (: )whoopee.
im sure u know who she is. and u probably know who you are. i half get you and i half dont.is it that FLY?actually i cant stand her either.you know what i wrote in my composition for the research test?i said Jack was a irritating freak.i disliked him.i couldnt stand him any longer.he kept on popping up of nowhere.he and his freaky crooked teeth smile.i really wanted to make it clear to him.but i just cant bring myself to it.do you get me?Jack has nowhere to turn to, if it weren't for me.us.its 'default' already. he takes me as his friend.he knows im nice.he turns to me whenever anything comes up.much as i hate it, i cant.why cant i be just as evil as you and let it all go?but if i do, then who else could I turn to?i know, it has never been me.but now its well into the year, everybody has settled down into their cliques..but here the 2 of us, Jack and i stick out like the odd ones out.and what do you mean?yes, i may not really truly understand what Jack is trying to do, but i think i know what you mean.people care, but no one would take us as the people they would turn to when anything comes up.in short, people dont care enough.i feel like a fish out of water.until this is resolved, or until next year...i will continue to feel like a fish out of water, imagining that i am swimming ever so happily.
i know God has reasons for everything.but sometimes it's hard not to question:why ME?i'm unhappy.it's always me.feeling lost.feeling frustrated.feeling that sense of unbelonging...why must YOU leave me?(no im not talking about God anymore)you know i want you.(sounds sick... NO I DONT MEAN THAT)but You preferred HER. and HER.i know you still care.right?but.i feel neglected.you know that?am i not good enough for you?i know that sometimes we cant help it.i know we cant possibly stick together all the time.but.perhaps ur just too likable.everyone wants a piece of you, and then you realise im just that boring random person that only can make weird noises.and you gradually drift off like an iceberg.thats how i feel.maybe its just my emo mood now.why is it that the fly that forever buzzes around me, is always never the butterfly i long for?but despite the fly being irritating, i'm very afraid i may miss it when we leave each other soon, like the last time i left the other fly behind.i miss that fly very much.i miss having somebody to fall back on.insecurities.the weaknesses of an S personality.