here.
Monday, October 29, 2012
on we go


Written at 8:14 PM by EL chica.
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Thursday, October 18, 2012
irrelevant incoherence

Where everyone has their earphones plugged in, they scream over the background tracks they have chosen for the scenes of their lives. Sometimes those tracks are put on shuffle repeat. So, life is a shuffle repeat, you say?

What rubbish am I spouting?

One war is over, time for a little breather before we arm ourselves again. Put on your seatbelts!


I am used to the silence. I am sitting at the kitchen table. My bowl of rice is in front of me. I poke at it. He walks in. He walks over to scoop his rice from the rice cooker and he sits down opposite me.
It’s like a date, but nothing like one.
The silence pursues us, but we are used to it. No use playing a game of catch when the runners aren’t going to run. There is no game. We are comfortable just sitting there poking at our respective bowls of rice.
Sometimes when you are really quiet, the room makes strange noises. You hear knocking. You hear furniture shifting. You hear footsteps. I hear footsteps. Running.
I know it is nothing, possibly the neighbour’s kids downstairs, but I am still afraid. I admit, it is just a little, but I am still afraid. Less afraid for myself than for him.
I was afraid he heard more than I did. What if he heard more than the silence? More than the footsteps? If he went berserk now, what could I do?
Silence isn’t bad. Hearing beyond the silence isn’t bad either.
Just make sure what belongs to the silence remains there.

I just finished watching a whole series of anime of 26 episodes in 3 days! Record time for me… really became a potato just sitting here watching, while others went out to partay and whatnot. I don’t even know what kind of anime I just watched.
Firstly, what’s up with the mature content that was slewed all over?! Before you get the impression that I’m watching rated shows now, I must say that the nudity was indeed partial, no overoverexposure, but… all the explicit suggestiveness?! They don’t even contribute to the plot. I am disgusted that those scenes are there for the sake of fanservice, and don’t serve any real function in the show.
Secondly, why are all the animes I watch so warped? Admittedly, I search for anime by search terms like ‘dark’ and not ‘funny’ (because I often get annoyed by the sugary sweetness/ridiculousness of comedic animes; besides, most of the darker animes often have comedic sideplots that provide points of relief)… I once watched one where there’s incest. Now, a possible bisexual?! (He is one of my favourite characters in the show though.) Oh my.
Thirdly, okay, I feel that though many shows nowadays have so many warped ideas and possibly bad influences, but I actively tell myself that hey, this is definitely wrong and what’s the bigger picture? There’s always some message you can learn, even if those are the negative examples. Frankly, though, this anime didn’t teach me anything much. I was just after the mind-blowing element, the twists in the plot, the plot the plot the plot. The characters were quite annoying. The most important message I get, perhaps, that we are not to get caught up in our past.
There they are, talking about their future and all, but the future they want, essentially are just ways to get back the ‘happier’ days of the past, or to cover up those sad childhoods. In the path to that future, they destroy the present, destroy people, destroy buildings… destroy themselves and their loved ones. If you destroy the present how do you get to the future?

I finished the anime but I don’t miss it… I am only vaguely sad that the main characters killed my favourite characters! Booo.

I need something better than this to occupy my next few days.
This is to make me feel better: Productive things I did today:
1. Wipe my piano of dust
2. Empty my waste paper basket (And lined it with a plastic bag!! An amazing feat!)
3. Cook dinner (at last minute notice! And my mom said the fish was edible! Hahaha.)
4. I’m sure there are some other stuff I missed!

Everybody put your hands up~
Written at 8:57 PM by EL chica.
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