here.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
don't let the fire die

This is a rather random post.

Dear, I have to be honest with you. Before you gave me that album I was starting to feel disappointed with him. Like many others, it seemed to me that he was deviating a little too much away from his usual style and towards the mainstream pop songs with its dance beats and repetitive or too direct or cliché lyrics. I had almost lost sight of it… that magic that drew me to his songs.
Those glittery finishings and weavings of electronic whistles and tinkling and maybe a piano or a guitar, they were what I thought made his music unique to his music. Those crazy random lyrics that I never fully understand though I catch nuances of meaning and purpose, never failed to amuse and draw me in.
But when I listened to previews of the new album online, I found less and less of these elements. The music was unimpressionable. I didn’t feel that spark.
Until I really put the CD on to run its own course. Popped the disc into the drive and play it from track one to eleven. The first few tracks are upbeat and almost disco-worthy, great pick-me-ups to garner that activation energy for doing Binomial Theorem. This bubbly optimism continues all the way to almost the whole disc, and within dance tracks, the tempos and mood vary to a casual, more mellow feel towards the middle of it. Perhaps it has something to do with it being released in summer and titled thus… Usually summer is the time for chilling and partying? So I guess he’s trying to express that happy, light-hearted let’s-go-party atmosphere.
And as I listen to all the lyrics, they really have a lot of drive and optimism. I think the most ‘negative’ song had to be one of the slow tracks, ‘Silhouette’, which sounds rather like a break-up song of sorts… but other than that most of them are encouraging and motivational. This sounds rather cheesy, but at a time like this when I’m tired out and lacking the drive to start studying/complete homework, this can be some kind of booster indeed.
Amidst all the emo and rock songs that I’ve been turning to lately, his songs still retain that hearty cheer. That is the real magic of his songs; the optimism and liveliness. It is not entirely cheesily happy-go-lucky and superficial, but he manages to get some sophistication and creativity through it too.
Anyway, dear, all I wanted to say is, I…
Really…











I think the album art is quite cool.

There were days when each hour was a war I fought to survive
There were nights full of nightmares and I dreaded closing my eyes
There were skies that burst open with a downpour to drown me alive
But the world took a spark like a match in the dark
And the fire brought me to life
So I’m fanning the flames to climb so high
‘Cause there’s no other way we can stay alive
‘Cause we’re burning bright as we all unite
And when it’s all said and done, we’ll shine like the sun
So don’t let the fire die
And we’ll watch the sky as it fills with light
And though the embers are new, whatever you do,
Just don’t let the fire die
And you find there’ll be mornings when the ashes and embers are cold
But you’ll fight with a passion
And you’ll never stop ‘cause you know
Yeah you know, it gets better and your story is yet to be told
Every push, every shove, every war, every love
Yeah the coals are beginning to glow.
-‘Embers’ Owl City

Are you letting the fire die out already, when you haven’t even started?
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
thank you for the good time

This is a little late but who cares! A thank-you is still a thank-you.
So,
Thank You.

Thank you, who wished me a happy birthday, be it at the stroke of midnight, or at the stroke of midnight the next day, or even two days later today.
Be it via a sweet short text or a long heartfelt message or a simple two words on facebook or a handwritten pretty card or a face-to-face greeting with or without a hug, handshake or gift, I appreciate it.

I have this inner ego in me that worries whether my birthday would go well. I have this slight phobia of something spoiling my day, like my parents wanting to go out for dinner and then everyone is reluctant and they get into a miscommunication and everyone feels forced to go out. Or like no one remembering my birthday at all. Or feeling sad because it falls on Sunday and there aren’t classmates to wish me.
I can be so silly.

I really had no need to worry. God had a great day planned out for me. What’s more it was a Sunday; I practically spent my whole day in church with peixun and choir and service and meeting… What an apt reminder for the start of my next year on this earth to lead a God-centred life!
Also there were many church friends who wished me, and some even had surprise gifts, which I really wasn’t expecting at all!
One thing that had caused me despair was that I couldn’t spend the day with one of my most treasured friends… Since she couldn’t come, why not I go? So I dropped by, and gave her a little something to perk her up for work. Even that little meet-up could make my day.

Thanks for the ________________________(insert whatever you have given/said to me!). <3

We don’t even have to try, it’s always a good time!
Monday, August 20, 2012
in transit

I always feel slightly lost, bluesy, moody, sian, after something that you have been working toward for a period of time is finally over. It’s like, ‘Now what?’
I know what I have to start doing and working towards next, but I need time to transit yeahs. A honeymoon week, anyone?

Paper tigers ain't all that scary. 
Sunday, August 12, 2012
music's language

I’m evicted from my room. Right now I don’t care what our generation is hardwired to do. We’re hardwired to be a wired generation, but what’s closer now is that the wiring in my lights are not wired properly or something is faulty somewhere, and therefore my room is in darkness. A screw loose, perhaps?
I can’t work in darkness; it is the condition under which I sleep.
Doing work in the kitchen is not a very viable solution. The first thing I did when I put my work down on the table? Take out the ice cream tub.

Amidst this hectic period of time, time itself is slowing down as I take everything step by step (or try to). I fit everything nicely into my schedule. Then I throw some out or compress them, as I take out time to do ‘useless’ stuff.
Like watching shows. Watching ‘Dream High’ now. It’s like suddenly all my perceptions of music, whatever kind, have been shifting and poked and threatened by this show, and many other things. Our (you know who you are) 30 day song challenge. The sermon today. Grappling with HMP and composition. The musical.

Dream high:
A K-drama about a school that breeds Kpop stars, it shows both ugly sides of climbing the ladder to stardom, and the beautiful side of how music can unite people with differences. So, does music really transcend language and culture and genre? What about the classical musician who harbors prejudices against pop music? Loving one and hating the other… A true music lover can respect all kinds of music. You may not like all, but don’t look down on certain kinds of music. Is that it?

30 day song challenge/Today’s sermon:
This touches on perceptions of Christian music, and the purpose of these. When I started out on this challenge, I didn’t really know if we knew what we were doing. Were we just going to let songs pop into our heads every day for the next 30 days because we are on this challenge? Or will we think about the lyrics, genuinely sing these songs to praise God, as a proclamation of our love to Him, as teachings and reminders to our faith, as encouragement to ourselves and others…? There are many kinds of Christian songs: songs that praise God, songs that teach us, songs to comfort us. I think it is important that the songs we sing or listen to don’t all revolve around the third kind, not because it is bad in any way by itself, but if the proportion of it is in excess, we lean to self-edification. It makes us think that we are the centre of the world, we need to be comforted, God is at our beck and call, but the fact is not. We need songs of truth, to tell us that He is sovereign, meaning that He has His own plans, His reasons for doing things we may not be able to comprehend. He is not obliged to do anything for us. But His grace and mercies sustain us and give us strength. For we are weak, but He is strong.

HMP/Musical/etc.:
My feelings toward HMP waver tremendously throughout the times. I started out apprehensive, without confidence, almost reluctant, treading on unchartered water, I didn’t know where I was going, what I was doing. Then I started to work harder. Listening to the better players, I felt so incompetent, like I would never reach their standard. I learnt how to critique music better, listen to the technicalities and the musicality. Then, when I try too hard to critique, no music sounded too good anymore. In HMP we have to do composition sometimes, and occasionally I’m pleased with what I write and sometimes I just want to crumple up the question paper. Today I came across a quote "Don't try to create and analyse and the same time. They are different processes." And realised that perhaps that is what I have been doing too much of. I composed and then try to analyse what chords I am using, then try to intentionally vary my chords to keep it from being too boring, but it never flows well enough. Who cares if my chord progression is a C Am F G?! It’s a bit no creativity, but better than getting nothing ‘good enough’ for my brain that is seeking complications. And now, with the musical, I get so caught up with listening to all those crazy dissonances and modulations. Maybe you don’t even know what I am talking about, but really, those music, shifts from one key to the next like nobody’s business… In other words, it is always changing, rapidly. Yet, in almost everything, you hear it: There, fragments of shan ge! And that’s Ge Ming Song! And there it is, the motif from Sporting Life! There’s consistency in every change. And now how do I do that in my music writing?

Music is this really awesome and intriguing thing that God created. It covers so many aspects of everything in the world, there’s the science, there’s the art. There’s the emotions, there’s the logic. There’s that universal appeal, yet each one has their own styles and preferences. Music is too huge to fit into my life. So, I’m glad to be a part of it.

I would have liked to end the post there and then but I’d just like to add that for those of us still struggling with this musical, I hope none of us are still bitter about it. True, we might not have supported the idea of it at all from the start, but we have come to the point of no return, shall I say. Let’s just do our best and make it our show, because so many people have been working hard for it whether by choice or not, and let’s not let their efforts go to waste.
Have the patience to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
something new?


An attempt to try out something new. I seriously do strange things despite the busyness eh. This is how I go crazy. Don't go blind.