here.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
unhappiness
i know God has reasons for everything.
but sometimes it's hard not to question:
why ME?

i'm unhappy.

it's always me.
feeling lost.
feeling frustrated.
feeling that sense of unbelonging...

why must YOU leave me?
(no im not talking about God anymore)
you know i want you.
(sounds sick... NO I DONT MEAN THAT)
but You preferred HER. and HER.
i know you still care.
right?
but.
i feel neglected.
you know that?

am i not good enough for you?

i know that sometimes we cant help it.
i know we cant possibly stick together all the time.
but.
perhaps ur just too likable.
everyone wants a piece of you, and then you realise im just that boring random person that only can make weird noises.
and you gradually drift off like an iceberg.

thats how i feel.
maybe its just my emo mood now.

why is it that the fly that forever buzzes around me, is always never the butterfly i long for?
but despite the fly being irritating, i'm very afraid i may miss it when we leave each other soon, like the last time i left the other fly behind.

i miss that fly very much.
i miss having somebody to fall back on.

insecurities.
the weaknesses of an S personality.